Deacon Dominic Thien

MISSING ITALY

On a lazy autumn Sunday afternoon, a three-year-old little girl sat in the living room, watching TV with her grandfather as they both relaxed. Her grandfather glued his eyes on the screen as he viewed one of those European travel videos on YouTube. The scenery of children and adults gathering, walking around the square, visiting each other, dining, and sipping coffee in the street cafes of a typical European town square triggers the little girl’s interest. It caught her attention as she paused from playing with her toys. Suddenly, she turned to her grandfather and grabbed his attention with a simple four-word liner, “Grandpa, I missed Italy.”

The grandfather turned over and looked at her with an astounded smile. He quickly replied, “Me too, sweetie.” His granddaughter’s cheery and random statement has truly caught him off guard.

As he continues with the video, her words spark curiosity. He wondered how a three-and-a-half-year-old little child even knows what, when, and where Italy is. What had she experienced that had ingrained such a beautiful and peaceful memory in her head?

He pondered with thoughts by reflecting on a recent family trip that the little girl had been a part of. His family traveled to Europe to attend a wedding, which happened to be in Ravello along the beautiful Amalfi coast of Italy. They spent a few days there and had the opportunity to experience the beauty of the majestic mountains and colorful beaches of the region. The charm of every Italian town grew from the general-purpose square that positioned itself in front of a church, surrounded by small shops, cafes, and restaurants, for the convenience of its residents.

During their stay, the whole family often went to the main square to dine, have coffee, and savor the delicious Italian gelato ice cream. The sweet, creamy, and cold gelato melts in her mouth as she savors every scoop of the gelato oi cup given to her. She also found gratification in chasing after the pigeons that often scout for food crumbs on the cold stone pavement of the square. Children love animals, especially birds, due to their nonaggressive nature and the ability to fly and walk on the ground. She would run after them until they took off into the air and then burst out in laughter as her eyes followed the random flight of the birds.

In those moments of chasing the birds, her grandfather stayed close by without her asking for help. Although his energy level differed from hers, it did not prevent him from taking part in such ordinary and even meaningless child-play. Perchance, these activities may seem very ordinary, yet to a three-year-old girl, they stand for building blocks of something greater. Something precious in the view of innocent children yet seemed invaluable to adults at times. It is the capacity to joyfully live in the present moment with trust.

The little girl’s random statement has reminded her grandfather of a forgotten way of living in the present moment, which consists of being present to family members, sharing food, and having fun.

She enjoyed the local foods that appealed to her taste, smelled enticing, and delighted her eyes, while nourishing her being — that is living the moment. She actively ran around the square and chased the birds to experience the feeling of happiness, fun, and especially to be able to laugh whenever she saw the birds take flight — that is living the moment. She embraced the presence of her parents, grandparents, aunties, and uncles with acceptance for who they are without knowing their struggles and past— that is living the moment. In those present moments, it is common for a child like her to feel happy and safe. She is happy because she experiences love and leisure as meant to be through the God given senses. She feels secure even in an environment that is foreign to her, because she trusts her family without understanding the definition of trust.

The little granddaughter had unintentionally reminded her grandfather of something greater, simplicity. It is the quality of the heart that orients itself toward God. In the case of children like her, who may not know God yet, her orientation is simply toward parental and family presence. This simplicity implies that there is trust — believing in her family to care for her. Jesus drew attention to this simplicity by instructing his followers, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs” (Mt 19:14-15). A childlike spirituality, grounded in simplicity, enables the kingdom of peace, tranquility, joy, and love to reign in the heart.

Secular wisdom urges one to take control of things in life upon encountering the harsh realities of surviving. It promotes independence and security. All these things are the norms, but they can consume the heart if left unchecked. It may prevent one from being present to others through tolerance and acceptance. It may even make a person less docile and simple like a child, which radically contradicts carnal wisdom.

Nonetheless, when the heart orients toward God, the divine works will bear fruit. The burden of life or the yoke is lifted as Jesus said, “Cone to me, who are burdened and I will give you rest” (…). Simply living in the moments is a way that God invites us to give ourselves to others with time to relate, to bond, and to share life’s struggles and joy.

As he continued with his contemplation, the grandfather realized that at his age, he had experienced many events in life and gained much knowledge, yet living in the moment’ with family, food and fun seemed forgotten and remained low in his list of priorities. Such moment is a luxury of time for men like him, a luxury that challenges the will to let go of controls that aligns with the famous Sinatra song, “I did it my way”, to let go of worries and be like his granddaughter so as to just live and love. Moreover, it is not just time but energy and effort to tolerate and accept others in the circle of families and friends, even when there are irreconcilable differences. No family is perfect because of brokenness; simplicity can enable hope for reconciliation and love.

The grandfather nodded his head to acknowledge that this was the reason he had avoided certain family gatherings in his past. It is time to let go and not avoid the next gathering. He told himself to be simple by tolerating more and accepting them for who they are — that is what it meant to have a childlike spirit.

There are moments in a person’s life that may be like the little girl’s “missing Italy” moment. Those simple moments usually involve the gathering of family, foods and fun, a three-F’s formula for simply living the present moment. Find your missing Italy moment and live in simplicity.